July 28 2014, 11pm
- Baby: E-e
- Mother: It's the baby's first word!
- Baby: E-e.....e
- Mother: Egg? Enjoy?
- Baby: E-EVERYONE SHUT UP!!! We’ve called this conference to solve the world’s problems, not to fight about the problems of our past! And since I am the only country who seems to know how to run a meeting, we will follow my rules from here on out! Eight minutes each for speeches, no chit-chatting or side deals, and absolutely no going over the time limit! Now if you want to go, make sure you’re prepared and raise your hand, but do so in a way that does not mock any salutes of my country’s past!
July 28 2014, 6pm
Apparently my little brother was watching porn on my older brother’s Netflix account so he wouldn’t get caught but plot twist my older brother was doing the same thing with my younger brother’s account and now they’re both grounded and I’m the only one allowed on Netflix
wait there’s PORN on netflix?
July 28 2014, 5pm
☼ Hufflepuff Common Room
“It was round, earthy and low-ceilinged; it always felt sunny, and its circular windows had a view of rippling grass and dandelions. There was a lot of burnished copper about the place, and many plants, which either hang from the ceiling or sat on the windowsills. The overstuffed sofas and chairs were upholstered in yellow and black, and the dormitories were reached through round doors in the walls of the common room. Copper lamps cast a warm light over the four-poster beds, which were covered in patchwork quilts, and small copper bed warmers hung on the walls, in case of cold feet.”
This is so beautiful and I’m not even a hufflepuff.
July 28 2014, 5pm
ahahhahaha what the fuck is wrong here is the siren damaged or something. I’ve heard this exact siren before but never all creepy like this
actually the reason the siren sounds like that is because it’s echoing through the tall buildings of downtown chicago!
jesus, fuck this
July 28 2014, 11am
I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.
For example, you can:
- be in a shampoo commercial
- start a boy band:
- spot some choice booty:
- break into song:
- see some people in frankly offensive outfits:
- attend a metal show:
- listen to some sick jams:
- discover zombieism:
- sample some tasty snacks:
- watch someone get burned bad:
- find something you really like:
- find something you really, really like:
- find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:
- and wonder if you left the stove on: